Accountability | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

Other's accountability is not your responsibility. I saw an Instagram reel last week. It was fitting. I discussed it with a friend and they said always done that. I almost wanted to rant go like why you never taught me that.

For kids not adults

The sole purpose of holding people accountable is what you do for kids. When we are molding kids in good members of society and set them up to win in our reality. U make them understand the seriousness of their actions. U confront them. Because that is showing love.

My students

I tend not to push my beliefs towards my students because each parents has the right to raise their child how they want to. That would be me stepping over a boundary. I know my place always. 

But adults..

We don't do that. I never did that with strangers, acquaintances or friends. Not in the way the reel talked about. I used to think it would cause friction or unnecessary drama. It was almost me being scared to make a scene. While people kept push my buttons and unnecessary stepping over my boundaries. My young self would get ashamed, resentful, stressful or even hide from confrontation.

Finally healed

I'm really grateful. God put me in triggering situations and guess what I didn't respond as my young elf. God gave me answers I was unsure over finally. He also is answering a prayer. One that I prayed for last month. See where He guides me this time. I stayed polite but most important I understood this is a personal issue and has nothing to do with me. And everything to do with the person unhappiness and insecurity. I do love my response. I smiled. I greeted the person. And just kept it moving. But most importantly I controlled the conversation by not letting the person step over my boundary. By me not giving room to continue the conversation.  And I loved it. 

The lesson

Adults accountability is not your responsibility.  You can't push an adult to being accountable. I tried and failed. You get people that change the narrative. Act like they are innocent and move in a way that makes you second guess the whole situation. Some would call this gaslighting. I actually don't care what you actually call it. I just wanted to learn how to deal in these situations. 

And what I have learned is teaching the person what their repercussion is for their behavior by how you either distant yourself or change the relationship. You hold them to a standard by setting your boundary. And give the person the chance to either change or stay without you by knowing how to act around you.