You've Grown | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers ,

This is my first week back. I'm kinda enthusiastically nervous and anxious for this month.

New month| New goals

This month has some special big moments. We have the election.  We have choosing a new pope. For work I have to finish dances while figuring out costumes with my boss. I also have to get myself ready for a recital after two years of no dancing I think. I stopped counting hhahah. I have new content and a marketing strategy. And new administration plus work goals. But I feel more comfortable in my skin. Yes I still get shy and really nervous.  And not sure every time I raise my voice enough for other's to hear. But I do think it got the job done.

Special church service 

I was very brave and went in front of the church to get me blessing. Which I can honestly say I never did. Not sure🤣🤗🙈. I wasn't alone so that's good. But still every church goer that actually knows me well enough was not in church. Which was kinda funny. So I felt extra like a stranger in my own church.  

A year ago

But I did get a trailer like the priest was talking about. I had a short flash back from last year. My goddaughter was celebrating her communion. My day was so weird I spent the day mostly in hospital visits for one of my parents. I hadn't slept in days. And was running basically no energy. All I had were the people who always have me. My siblings and ride or die friends. One actually came by late to check up on me. So one thing I did feel was loved at the upmost and taken care off. I remember the outside world not knowing a lot about anything and I actually found that peaceful.  I could here God's presence to calm me down. My brother told me I was really relaxed and in control of the situation. I may not had a big birthday. But I evolved a lot by turning 35.

Same environment | Different Vibe

Funny enough I was wearing the same church dress from last year. Hahaha because I was too tired to iron the dress I actually wanted to wear. The priest talked about the scriptures after the passing of Christ.  I'm really loving it that every time I hear or read it I feel like I'm learning something new that I didn't catch the first time. Share your testimony to other's.  And it made me be so happy to have friendships now which I can have open conversations about the Lord. Because I can openly share this with them. We share our lives. We lift each other up. We try to deal with our differences in a healthy way. I know that having that was something I was afraid to acquire for a friendship. I just accepted what was given. But I don't anymore. The most important thing I wanted to learn myself is coexist with people that are different without losing myself. Let me not get it twisted I don't entertain negativity in my life. But the balance is not shutting people out or out of your life for good that's the sweet place. 

You can't be what I need. I will not expect that from you anymore. 

You showed that you can't be trusted. I will choose what is smart to share with you and what isn't.  

You tend to be fake towards me. I will show you the truth without insulting you or shutting you out of my life. The reaction is all up to you. 

You push situations towards me, which is passive aggressive. I will starve your ego from ever getting a response from me towards you. 

Life is too precious to focus on the negative or let people their negativity, jealousy, anxiousness or insecurities effect my daily mindset but most importantly my peace and joy.

I've become a puzzle for most. Because I'm not a follower. I'm not a leader. I'm a fellow friendly journey walker with focus on the Lord and His blessings in my life that I was given responsibility over.

I've changed yes. I've grown up.