Bittersweet | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers, 

Today is my first blog post for this month. The month began promising. I started with doing my finances. I dislike this but as a business owner it's important to book all your expenses and incomes. Ofcourse this felt depressing to book because I'm not happy with the amount of income yet. Or my expenses in this economy is killing.

But I remembered a couple of things.  This will past. This is just bump in the road. You get hurdles so God is letting me get used to handling them. I have not mastered this yet.

I would love to give a little recap of the month July.

Dance recital 

The first week was all about getting over a cold and practicing for the dance recital. It was a weird experience mostly because I felt a little numb. I made dance mistakes and so did my partner's but I didn't cry about it. If you know what I mean. I didn't feel anything. I also didn't feel the love.

Stopping with my Passion

After the dance recital ended I explained to my teacher my choice to stop going to my own ballet class for a year. And stopping beginning of August mostly because I'm going to be busy these weeks.

The Aftermath

Now this is the first week of not going on purpose.  I feel entirely energized.  Which I normally felt drained because my body was tired of the day already. But now I feel amazing physically. Emotionally I don't feel sad but the familiarity has kicked in. I've enjoyed watching and looking for dance routines to do at home when I can make the time. I do have to look for exercises for my back or I'll get back pain. But I've found perfect stretching routines for my back in the morning.

My ohana 

I went to two different family gatherings which were fun. Mostly because I loved seeing my nephews enjoy doing new things. That includes seeing new people (their family). They are sheltered mostly because my brother's  busy lifestyle. But they learned how to jump into the water. They are definitely not scared of the water anymore and they've totally enjoyed themselves. 

Monthly expenses

I finally used my first income of this year for my personal expenses. Which included filling up the car tank. I'm mostly proud that I didn't use this part for months. It was for buying a monitor for work but life happens.  From airconditioning having an expensive problem to EBS burning something important from our washing machine. We had to go into our own savings to buy the appliance, rent a washing machine to do the laundry and last do normal weekly shopping because we used money that had a purpose. 

God's child

Mostly I'm stressing and freaking out. But I know God will find a way. I just need to trust and focus on what I have control over. For example what's in front of me : my daily routine of helping my family where I can, focussing on being consistent with work and last regrouping so that I keep nurturing my relationship with God again.

Doctor visits 

I've had an infection these last weeks. I think mostly because I was fighting a cold. That small bite mark became a painful infection.  I'm proud of how I took care of myself. I'm learning more of the basic lifeskills to do them alone. Which is a big deal. Because I was sick I had to make a conscious decision what I eat, how much I drank and lastly take enough rest. Which is something I fight to do with other's.  Mostly because I don't want to rest or stay still. 

Potential but not entirely 

I had a couple of calls for potential work. It didn't end up like I would like but I did learn what I should do during these times.

1) create and share great content

2) follow up

3) not stop sharing work to potential client's 

4) embrace the downtime by resting and regrouping 

5) refine services and work

The hardest one is embracing the downtime.  I'm always a busy bee. Sharing my work. This made me feel like failing. Mostly because an idiot insulted my 3D skills with a let me fix them for a soft price. It didn't hurt my feelings as much as I thought but it did make me extra cautious to use current 3D drawings for promo because of that. 

*ps I got over it check my YouTube for my first project 

Rendering purpose

I'm not a fan of making rendering the most important thing. Don't get me wrong I'll take the feedback at heart and will fix my rendering skills. I'm not stupid. It's a skill that I need to invest in. Mostly because client's want that. But I personally find the purpose of 3D drawings is being missed out. I'll discuss this another time.

Content 

I really was ready for the content I posted this month and I'm really disappointed.  I'm still really thinking why am I even trying with Facebook. From my point of view is that Facebook purposely hiding my post for client's instead of putting on their wall or letting them get a notification.  So I'm really tired of investing into Facebook.  I've noticed reels don't work there. I keep it because my page slowly becomes like a main website. Where people can stumble on my content. On tik tok I'm not a fan. The views do not become client's so it feels like a waste of time. Instagram I do feel like I can get more engagement and views on my reels. Which is good. The engagement needs to turn into clients but that is a second hurdle. So content is a struggle which I'm feeling drained and uninspired this August. 

Last week

I had my last week at ballet. I said to the people who needed to know that I was stopping. One responded that He would miss me and wished me good luck. One got it and only asked if I was still giving class and staying in the Whatsapp groups. One acted a little immature and told me I should stay and would cry and really miss it. Which kind of hurt because the person knows the entire ins and outs of why I need to stop. One is super clingy but I will slowly see myself replaced because they are used to doing that. The rest we are not that close. Just friendly. My last day was weird. I didn't say a speech mostly because everyone already knew by that point. And I didn't bring anything because I had to use my money for normal life stuff.  No hugs. No talking about it. Funny part it's my mother's last week working too. Which meant we are free to do other things. For me it's work, selfcare, supporting big famiiy life changes and having fun.

Preparing new month

This new month needs potential. I finally did my finances for June and July. I'm trying to come up with content for August. I came up with not a lot yet but I'm doing my best to plan the weeks to come with reels.

I have been asking what people would like to know but no response on that. So I'm thinking maybe not breaking my head on tips this month. Working smarter, not harder and looking what is being well received on Facebook plus instagram.

Goals for August

1) reintroduce myself on social media

2) create more reels bts 4 x weekly

3) succesful offer

4) consistent content 

5) pay myself normal loan income

6) portfolio on blog 

7) correct e-design questionnaires 

8) start paying my loan off

9) find selfcare routine and stick with it

10) successful project's 

Bittersweet goodbye to a significant part of my life that means making space for new life courses and experiences. Until we meet again.

God bless everyone.