Blog day / Article Update June 16th 2020

Hello blog readers,

Welcome back to my blog. I haven't been blogging this month as much as my first month because it's getting depressing. Talking about a standstill. I hate complaining and seeing no difference in life. I hate people saying" we love you towards the front liners" but we as humans are the first to disobey the rules and regulations set out for our safety.

I can see my plans like everyone go down in flames. I can see our goals moving further from us in life. I can see my anger and resentment growing and it's annoying. Staying positive is like impossible at this point.

I'm going to say the good and the bad of my work situation. The raw behind the scenes.

 

Project 1, this is a personal project and I haven't heard anything for building permit. Since somewhere April I think. I can't get mad. We have been dealing with COVID since March 13th 2020. This project really feels like the never ending story. I feel like a failure. Designing something that the couple likes and entirely changed cause unnecessary stupidity. I made a budget in which we have an economic crisis with price inflation and now COVID plus election. Wow it feels like unnecessary work done. Because everyone knows the budget is now incorrect. So I will have a finished budget plan that is not correct. And this is frustrating because I can't get entirely paid with something that isn't finished yet.

Project 2, this is project is from last year July 2020. In which I made a definitive design in October 2020 to have the client change the location and design entirely. Plus time is money of course. The definitive design was given for building permit same time as project 1. And the client decided it took to long so I had to take myself out of the equation. Remove the drawings from the government properties. So I'm excluded for no reason but only the client find me to slow for getting the building permit. And yes I still have to be professional with people being A... to me.

Project 3, this project is from January 2020. I'm proud to say that I did this project in like 2 months. Both side were really professional. In which made my job easy to communicate the process of my work. She knew every step I made and she did her part really quickly. Her drawings were the last to be handed in for building permit but the first that they called for additions. I have small additions for the architecture design aspect and a lot of corrections for the construction design aspect of all the drawings. The purpose was to call the concrete contractor and fix the drawings before June 9th 2020 but we had a lock-down and everything went downhill from there. I had personal things that I needed to fix plus marketing plus new content plus ongoing projects. It was a lot and trying to stay focus wasn't working because I knew I can't deliver my drawings for two weeks. But Monday June 15th I found my strength again for work.

Project 4, this project is really small and also from January 2020. I have to make technical drawings. But guess what everyone. COVID hit and the business owner/ client hasn't worked since March 13th 2020 so this is easy to say a lost cause.

Project 5, this project is a house design. Almost pro bono. But the client hasn't left Netherlands yet so his house will not be build any time soon. Meaning my design is on the burner until he can come to Suriname. And the drawings will likely not be delivered for building permits.

So with the truth of RC Designs workflow transparent. Other things just feel to heavy.

Everything irritates me. I feel hopeless. And I feel ungrateful that I am mad at myself for my own feelings in this pandemic. I don't like that I get headaches because of frustrations and stress. I hate that I can't stay still and relax because I'm too anxious. I'm mad that what I set out for one day is almost never completed. My hours in the day don't feel enough. Which for my eyes feel really funny.

And yes I know.. I'm to hard on myself. But venting about this might help a little.

Stay tuned for blog day's again. And if things change a new project update.