Accepted, Not Tolerated

Hello RCD readers,

The ability to set emotion aside and simply extend genuine care toward one another is one of the clearest ways to feel closer to God.

Yesterday, I went out of my way for someone. I was exhausted, sitting behind on my schedule, and facing a mountain of work. Yet, when a small request came in, I said yes anyway. I knew it would make them happy, even if I couldn't fully explain why in the moment.

What surprised me was how much I needed it, too. Stepping back from my endless task list to give my full, undivided attention ended up being the best time I’ve had in a while. Resting in the aftermath of that simple act of kindness felt remarkably fulfilling.

Waking up early today, surprisingly well-rested, my focus is on mapping out the upcoming workweek. The goal for this weekend is simple: stay fully present today, and tomorrow balance a site visit with getting things ready at home.

Still, that unexpected joy left me reflecting: What else have I missed out on by stopping myself from going above and beyond?

Truthfully, yesterday was a rare exception. For a long time, I’ve struggled with how people treat me—so many hide their disrespect behind passive-aggressive sarcasm. In response, I learned to protect myself by becoming completely nonchalant, pulling back, and acting entirely disinterested. I got so used to catching subtle signs of insincerity that I stopped extending extra effort altogether. I built walls to shield myself, but my disinterest often just made me come off as cold.

Looking back, that nonchalant defense ended up feeling more like a self-imposed sentence. Staying halfway in a dynamic—dangling on the edges—is like drawing out a slow, uncomfortable breakup. It creates a heavy obligation where you feel caught between wanting to be included and wanting to retreat entirely, second-guessing every word you say.

While it’s painful when people prove they were never truly loyal, hardening up isn't the same as guarding your heart as God intended. Yesterday was a gentle reminder of what happens when I soften those walls—and how much I miss being vulnerable with the people I choose to keep in my life. Guarding your heart isn't about closing it off to everyone; it's about saving your care and vulnerability for the ones who truly honor it.

That’s why I cherish the small circle of friends in my life—the ones who give me what others can't. With them, I feel loved, truly cared for, respected, included, and supported. They challenge me with kindness and make me feel genuinely accepted, never just tolerated.