No peace | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

If it's not from God you'll know it. It will not bring you peace. I used to have a problem following my gut in this scenario.

What are the main things you need in life?

Is it money? Is it beauty? Is it popularity? Is it respect? Is it fun? Is it joy? Is it freedom ? Is it love? Is it purpose? 

For me the first big thing would be peace. Growing up I prayed for drama free life so that I could get peace. But I didn't choose easy going people. I choose people I could handle their negativity or toxicity. People I could handle. Which sounds terrible. They never had to align with my morals or standards. Because I knew everyone is different. And I thought as Christian politeness overtrumped being truthful. 

I created my own peace. Which sounded like it was working. Until I'd noticed. Years gone by and not a hand full  of people actually respected plus loved me enough to reciprocate my polite actions. 

They liked how I treated them. They liked that I was drama free and easy going.  The moment I showed them reality they shut down. Or uno verso. They only loved talking about the negative things in my life. Which allowed me to stay stuck in limbo of complaining about my problems without ever doing anything.

But the moment I choose kindness over politeness.  The moment I choose being real instead of fake just because it's the "right" thing to do. I choose standing firm in my believe without always overexplaining the why. I choose what I find important instead of following the crowd. I choose to listen to my intuition even if it felt hurtful for the other person. The moment I actually trusted the vibe instead of the "kind" words. The moment I saw "them" for who they really are. And not judging but just focusing on my mental health because they won't think about it. But most importantly I accepted them as they are but put my boundaries of things I will not participate in. 

I've created new bonds. Because I choose who actually choose me on a daily. I choose people that keep me positive about bad experiences. They actually allow me to be myself in every area. I don't hide them. I keep them save. 🤐 . I function better in work and for myself. Because I choose who lifts me up and gives me joy and peace. That peace again.

For the once who haven't catches up yet. I'm better fit mentally to handle their toxic actions. Just by how I respond and how I keep my boundaries. Not cold. Because that's not the point. Just honesty. Kindness.  Boundaries.  And most of all God's wisdom in each downfall. Because that is still possible. 

There is no peace. It's a mindset. It's your faith in God. It's a choice on how you respond. It's something you create in the chaos.