Last goodbye | Day in the life RCD

 

Hello RCD readers 

I can't sleep. It's so hot even at night. And all my body urges is sleep and rest.  With my head bouncing tonight.  All that pops up that she was loved by just being herself. Granny and grandpa would be proud. 

As we reminisce about our grandparents.  As we reminisce about our childhood second home not being that for us anymore. As I see how much my aunt has done in her life by just being there for strangers. As all of us have to figure out this new dynamic in family relationships. I learn to lean into compassion and try not to overthink things that aren't  in my control. I don't try to overanalyse people's actions and what I would do in that situation anymore.  I don't have control over their actions. And not my responsibility also. It hurts. But we are adults. We pray for the lost. We pray for the hurt. We pray for the insecure.  We pray for the ones who don't care about us at all. And we hold on who does love us.

As I remember crying seeing my loved ones not being able to hold back tears. As I see how loved my mother is and to see her "family". "Just be there for her. And watch her like a hawk." They said. With me and my brother getting orders to watch out for everything when it comes to her. As the words have been whispered. "Hold on to her. Take good care of her." It's a love I aspire to have. 

Aunty you left a mark. Your son is finally good. He has found the ability to create a peaceful life for his self. With all his imperfections.  He has found his little blessing.  Your youngest is going to be fine. She has created her support system. The ones who have her.  The ones who without asking start helping in ways we didn't expect. And you have your first daughter.  She is so proud of what she's achieved.  She was the financial rock and that gave her pride.

And as for me. Aunty you would say "if you want it. Make it happen".

Much love aunty. May you finally find rest.

With love your Bita.