Movement vs Rest | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

How is everyone week starting off? I woke up a little late but I'm good. I feel like God gave me  little whisper for this week. And I feel ready to go. But feeling really anxious out of nowhere Sunday. 

Monday came along and I did my follow ups. And it was just a warning to my body that I'll have change. What I expected would not happen. When I thought easy breezy day. I got a busy day. Did I let it overwhelm me hell no. I'm proud about that. I choose wisely what I could control and focussed on doing that.

In the morning ( Monday)

I woke up late but I knew what I needed to do. So washed my face and got to it. I was just on time. In the time between I choose not to make a new ballet class. Mostly because it's overwhelming and Monday class needs structure and discipline. Not new existing class lessons. But normal structure with a hint of working on improv and child development. It was overall a really good class. I demanded attention in the class and disciplined how I do it. Because I'm not a yeller. I don't think that is necessary but I was taught strict. 

Follow ups with no good news 

I got somebody who cancelled that was really excited to work with me.  I know for a fact. My prices are not super high but also not cheap. Ps that was the reason. So I'm not second guessing myself.  It did felt like they waisted my time. Because I noticed them sharing another company since last year. So I'm thinking they never were going to use my services and just wanted the price. Which a lot do. 

The second one is enjoying her life and hasn't responded to her project for a long time. Which I have to put on the back burner because that means it's not that important for her at the moment.

I need to get paid for my services. I never knew how to deal with somebody going through a tough time and you need to get paid or a response. I'm always giving the person tpo much time and grace. After awhile this is just disrespectful at this point. 

God takes and God gives

I could've gotten scared but I knew what I lost God will give tenfold.  I'm sticking to that. So I believe it will all work out as it should.

Now for the title

I cancelled an activity in the weekend. And most of the times I regret it. I feel guilty. I start second guessing myself. There was a picnic planned. I knew I'm not free on Saturday.  For work or something very important I would cancel and do it. Like next time is benifit concert and I want to help so I choose to cancel my plans for that. This time I would not. It would be amazing and fun to hang out with them and experience something like that. But if I had to disappoint somebody. It won't be me anymore. I knew by last Thursday my body was tired emotionally and physically. And needed rest. Only person they would get is a grumpy overtired woman. And I was entirely honest. No excuses.I told the truth. I'm tired I staying home. I didn't overthink of how other's also have busy lives. I know that. But guess what. I'm not them and they are not me. So I'm not making myself feel bad anymore by saying this works for me. I slept till late. I did my groceries for the week. Cooked. Rested a little bit. I woke up an hour later after their appointment. And cleaned a little. I went back to my responsibilities. 

Forceful but needed task

Sunday I did force myself to go to church. I got a long speech how we should mingle and help in the church. After a two hour service. I took my booty back home and made breakfast. I did my best to clean the house. Because end of the day you have to do what's best for you and works for you.  Stop second guessing and comparing. Not because not everyone can place themselves in other's their shoes and try to understand.  Means that you have to overwork yourself so nobody can say you are a bad friend, bad Christian or bad person. You know your worth. You know what you deal with. Just do the best you can. And know God knows your heart. And a real friend will always see your effort. 

I need rest and movement.

How do you know what your body needs. Your body needs rest when small things feel overwhelming and exhausting. Things I love doing feel like a lot of effort. Your body needs movement when you feel restless and sluggish.  Really overthinking and stuck in your head. But most important anxious like I felt Sunday. But also overstimulated and irritable.

So I did both. I took time to rest my body and with my own pace I did what needed to be done. Including follow ups on Monday. And it was a successful Monday class because of it. I felt not entirely energised but I did a great job.

So listen to your body. Stop overthinking who you might disappoint. And do what you need to at your own pace. Just like you take care of a loved one. Take care of yourself just as that. 

Have a blessed day everyone.