Just Breath | Day in the life RCD

Stop waiting for the other shoe to fall off. Just breath..

Hello RCD readers,

I think that I should be writing. Because I actually love it a lot. I'm actually writing this blog post in December. After a weird work day.

Today is December 6th 2023. Yes it's last year but I needed to write about this feeling. I was so nervous today.

Project Mona

So last week I got that awful call from what I thought would be my last client for this year. And they cancelled the rest of the project. Which I kind of assumed as much as they were talking as if it was a YES. Both knowing the price before hand. And proceeding this project I still felt uneven. You see my gut was telling me this won't last but the reality and the site appointments made me question my gut. And after a successful last consultation plus site visit rapport. I felt terrible because I didn't listen to my gut. But after the days turned into two weeks I got the message. I received my answer and it was a definitive NO. 

Project Domburg

The same week that I felt like a failure which is just being really dramatic. I got that call from a client. He wanted outdoor living area. We discussed and I couldn't do the weekend so I choose for Monday. He cancelled late at night but we rescheduled for today. 

Google Map hates me

As I'm driving I kept on getting routes from streets that look terrible to drive through. And I got lost so many times. I kept my cool. I did yelled at google for those stupid U-turn suggestions which I hated. It did make me think how much I need to learn to trust and let go. But also not to loose my temper or cool that fast.

He liked me or NOT

I couldn't feel this site visit appointment. Very cold or very professional client. Not sure. But we'll see what happens. I felt uneasy, nervous, insecure and a lot like imposter syndrome. 

I am proud for not calling my friends to talk about it. And let it go. Unstressed and just breath. But I need to really focus on my balancing game plus my stress level. Being scared for the shoe to drop is not helpful. And focusing on who is being rude is not productive plus kind of judgy.

Just breath

I would love to thank the Lord for his blessing and remind him my derailing is noticed. I've worked on my imperfections. That includes my fear and distrust to let completely go by truly relying on His presence in my life.

I'm learning every day to make space for the person who I am and who want to be to inspire and not terrify me.

So I'm hoping when this blog post is shown I've learned the magic of being :

- less judgmental

- more grateful

- better with stress

- less fearful and insecure

As they say if you are thinking about negative things then you should come up with the solutions. The best way to stop feeling like the worst could happen is to make sure that you have solutions and are prepared for worst case scenarios.

* side note the project is still ongoing. The client wanted corrections.

" I rebuke my own fear and anxiety. Because that is me thinking I'm not enough. But I'm never alone and always with God in every situation "