F*** being nice | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

Long time no see. Today I felt like writing a little. A lot has happened and I don't know where to start or what I want to even share.

When I look back at my blog website, I can see I had some interesting subjects. Not all were viewed as much as I thought they would but most read were Your Body and Hallway. Both were subjects that were present in my life and I really wanted to discuss them. 

The last time I posted I talked about burning bridges and I couldn't be more less intuitive with what I was writing.  It was rushed and of course not received well. So my three blog post that would follow didn't come to full form. Maybe I'll still write them but for now I'm so used to working that focusing on work during blogging is kinda hard to focus plus find inspiration for.

Now for the title. No, I'm not mad at anybody. No, I'm not trying to become somebody who is rude. But it is something I had to learn for my mental and physical wellbeing. Selfcare and self Love is a big thing as an adult. You have to take care of you. 

I've been so focussed on my three purposes for this year. 1) kicking off my business 2) taking care of my family 3) taking care of me. 

My business

I didn't believe my family would be so supportive to ask me for my services or to refer me to people. If I'm stuck God always has a kind person quick to give me knowledge. Like my brother helping me with my taxes or my ballet teacher being honest with her taxes and giving me advice.  It's small but it's what I need to make sure it works out smoothly. From people who I didn't start on a good note contacting me to work with them just because I kept it professional. From friends and family supporting me by sharing my content.

My family

As my mother's health is main priority and nobody ever gets it. I focus on being there for her where I can. In return she takes care of me. So we take care of each other. With all the disagreements and judgements inbetween.

As for my siblings. They need me in different areas of their life. I'm helping them by giving my two cents on marketing. Helping their businesses grow is what I focus on because there is where I can help. From starting an online business to coming up with a marketing strategy. In return I get there support for my business growth. And there listening ears when I need to vent. With the disagreements and everything I make an effort to show that we have to take care of each other.

Self care

I've been lacking on this. My body gave me wake up call this week to slow down and prioritise my physical health. Which meant eating better. Which meant stretching more. Which meant drinking more. Which meant more healthy snacking and foods. Now my mental health surpassed my physical when my body was giving me cramps and back pain for no apparent reason then my body saying slow the fuck down. 

Funny that right before this I made a conscious decision.  I told my mother and 2 friends. One told me not to do it and then insulted me by saying why would you listen to me. Which is just mean. People forget that when you are close to somebody there words have weight. The second didn't understand why I needed that decision. And my mother doesn't believe I'll do it and finds me talking about it without her ever responding with her views as me stressing and breaking my body with overthinking. But venting about things while they are happening is not stressing. It's letting out so that you can move on and not focus on that subject anymore. Not everyone sees it like that.

What does this have to do with being nice?

Learning to set boundaries in each aspect of my own three important purposes is really important. And that is a big part of unlearning certain aspect of being nice.

Let's start off with what I mean with being nice. Nice for me means you have to be pleasant and agreeable. It comes with self sacrifice and people pleasing. Saying yes to colleagues that may not always treat you with respect. Saying yes when it's not your problem. Saying yes when your body says no. Saying yes when just don't want to do it. But being kind asks you to be considerate to other and yourself. That means saying no is normal.  

So with my three purposes for this year. Setting boundaries, saying no, choosing what I will do and what is too much, making important decisions that give me a different structure but is for my health is necessary and last thinking about me first in every choice work wise plus personal.

So yes being kind is my goal but being nice isn't anymore.