Self growth | Day in the life RCD

 

Hello RCD readers,

I hope everyone had an amazing weekend and is ready for a blessed week.

We've entered the 3rd week of November. Like everything comes to an end this month and after a couple of weeks this year is also coming to an end. Because ending a chapter means opening something new. I also know changing means self growth.

Current projects| Finished project:
I have decided not to promote yet and focus on finishing ongoing freelance projects this year. I can go through the list but I can just say that all project's I've been waiting month's for the building permit. Mostly because I will not use corrupt way of thinking and do this process honestly. Which means I wait longer than most. A lot of people I hear say within two weeks and I've noticed that it's because of connections.

Corruption instead fixing the system:

We live in a society that thinks paying to get anything done quicker is normal because everyone does it. Or that using your connections to make the project get the building permit faster is a smart thing or legal thing to do. It's your life and you can choose how you live it. I have to respect people's choices even if I disagree. I have control over my life and that is my only responsibility right now.

I have one project that is waiting for a building permit since October 9th and it is a simple design but as usual the system needs work.

How can they change?

1. don't allow government employees to ask for building permit
2. don't allow government employees give drawings for almost half of the market price
3. if the drafters and architect's need to have a certain degree than the government employees need to have a certain degree to check the drawings
4. start seeing this as a business and that's the only way you'll see growth plus change
5. rules should not be allowed to be implemented without having changed the law for that 
6. no rules should be allowed to be implemented the same day without any thought through
7. the pile of work begins because their isn't a good work procedure for the government employees to follow. Their should be a person who calls , mails or uses WhatsApp to make sure the corrections are made quickly.  This needs better usage of technology. If everyone has a task and focused on that. The workflow will go down.
8. the person that checks the drawings can't also be the person who needs to check the site. It makes no sense. You are wasting valuable work hours.
9. everyone working in a government facility needs to know how the facility works and where what needs to be done. They are a team and it's suppose to be like a well oiled working train.
10. constant education and growth is important but the implementation is more liable. Learning without no usage of the knowledge is a waste of time and money. 

Self growth for myself

These two months were weird. They were (are still) hectic but slow. They were the most energy consumed, anxious and fearful month's but also the most self growth I've gone through in years. I've done more than I usually do. The mindset of putting  myself first in each situation and doing what pleases me with the word "NO" to strangers is exhilarating. 

Best version of myself

• people stress doesn't effect me. 

My kind hearted self is still hear but I'm really good with not giving people my energy anymore. If you don't respond than I don't respond.  If you start being rude than it will not hurt anymore because you are not important for my happiness. If you think you will manipulate me than you'll feel like a fool because I will be ghosting you. My energy is not for people who act up. We are all adults and if I have to be one. So do the people a stay connected to. That means the people I associate with have to do the same towards me. But most important take responsibility for their actions. 

• my life means my responsibility 

I have to stand in my responsibilities in life. Meaning;

1. my self growth
2. my health
3. my happiness 
4. my responsibilities as a daughter, aunty, ballet teacher and new business owner
5. my future
6. my mental state 
7. my mindset (what you let your mind consume daily)
8. taking care and maintenance for what God has given me in life (my blessings)

There is a certain scary liberating freedom with lot's of fear and anxiety combined with knowing your life is your responsibility. Everything negative that comes out is all my own actions and choices. How I feel about the situation and how it effects me is all due to my own mindset. 

• being open for the truth by getting it and giving it.

When people give honesty most times the receiver becomes distant. I want real honesty. And that means I have to accept and respect the person truth no matter. But with that I also have two choices :

• Accept this & move on
• Readjust my mindset of the situation & create my own boundaries to protect myself from future disappointments 

• be open to constant learning

Everyone is a teacher. Every situation learns me what not to do next or for some inspiring (motivating) friends what to do and grow. My failures learned me what I need to work on so that I can improve. My successes learned me how far I've come in life. From being scared to do certain things years ago because I was waiting for that extra push from other's to having no person to push me anymore (but let God be my constant teacher for growth).

• respect your boundaries and make sure to create them
• Physical boundaries was always easy for me. I don't let anybody have access to me if their intentions are not pure. And I can see a horny.. from a mile away. 
• Boundaries in which I let my kindness not be misused. Well God is still working with me on that one. I can think too much about other's their feelings and circumstances in life. But this is a slow process. 

• show up for yourself

I've had conversations with some friends and the expressed their opinions about my way of living or having fun. Because I have standers and mannerisms that I uphold for myself. 

• From my religion being mocked for going to church. But they don't feel the benefits the way I feel them. So that is really easy to not care about what they say. 
• To my choice in relaxing or fun. Only because they want me to like the same things they do. So they don't feel out of place with me. That's stupid. I'm okay with asking how their night was and not being judgmental about their life choices.  I should get the same respect and kindness.
• I show up for myself by making sure the main important things that make me feel fulfilled, happy, energized , calm and loved I do on a weekly basis. 

• focus

I haven't changed my work goals , personal goals( health, mental and spiritual), romantic goals and friendship goals. But I have changed my vision board in life. I believe it will happen no matter what. Just stay focused and be patient. 

Now in 2019 I had dip again from being overstressed 
My tips were : 

1) start your day of right.

By taking care of you first and your body before anything else. Wake up and start with your personal routine.

*I have tried my best. I don't focus on the clock. I focus on the tasks. That brings a lot of pressure of me.

2) make a to do list. 

Not meaning everything will be done today but it does help to know what follows.
*I still do this and I also write down what is done in my google calendar.  It feels amazing and more motivating when you've finished a task.

3) don't stress about things you can't control. 

Do your best and let the rest fall into place. You can't control others actions. So stop stressing about it and move on to the next task.
*This is an ongoing battle still that God is really making me learn which means I get in situations where I'm tested if I've learned the lesson yet.

4) prepare yourself for each task effectively and efficiently. 

If you need to do a lot and have little time. Plan how to do the task fast with less effort so that you win time.
*This really helps. My tasks for these months are more business start up oriented but each task I'm well prepared. 

5) don't stretch yourself to thin. 

Important stuff should have preference and the rest need to cancel our move to next time.
*I was overwhelmed because my hectic personal life like everyone else. And a friend told me to try a free online workshop about boundaries, small breaks and how important self reflection is. It made a big difference to work smart and not harder.

6) always unwind and relax your body, mind and soul. 

Breaks are important and doing what makes you feel better in every area of your wellbeing.

*A couple of friends hate my unwind activities because it doesn't involve have sex with strangers, going to parties, taking spontaneous road trips during the week while drinking alcohol. I think it makes them feel bad because I don't mind them doing that but I'm not taking part of it. But they mind me not being the same as them. Most important about this. It doesn't faze me at all... Hahahah 

Now this what I call self growth 

Have a great week