Back to the basics | Day in the life RCD

 

Hello RCD readers,

As I slowly but surely tell people a couple of changes in my life. I second guess who actually reads this. Those awkward question that come up during routine normal small talk. A little white lie comes up too. "Are you okay?". And you have that simple reflex of saying yes or everything is fine. Point one actually will be fine ineffably. But for now we keep it positive and quietly going through the motions. 

 

Gratitude

I was told to try gratitude exercises and all I can say. They don't help if you're fighting to keep your head above water. And they absolute don't help when the punches keep coming. But that doesn't mean you should stop. I don't need to remind myself what I'm grateful for. I pour out love towards people who show me that every day because in my darkest hour I'm absolutely grateful for the life God has given me. And I think is enough for now.

 

Health

This is the first week where I feel a little normal when it comes to health of my loved ones. My father is healing perfectly. My mother is walking like a champ again. I've inherited the attitude of my health comes first instead of work. Yes I still have crunching long work hour sessions. But my need to feel terrible if others refuse to do their job, which means my project's are not finished, is slowly gone. I'm taking the punches like a champ. And I'm positive for the outcome and not stressing if the outcome is not what I need.

Happiness

I've not posted awhile because no inspiration. No willingness of sharing my personal destructiveness. Or last mentally not there yet. I've learned a new kind of happiness. A new kind of peace. Of course it's not perfect because I'm a over thinker and my minds attendance of looking at past negativity experiences when I'm suppose to sleep is like the Devil working hard. But God works harder. I put on my music. I distract myself with something I like to watch. I talk to an old friend. Or last I just talk to God. And I go to sleep. Sometimes on a positive note and sometimes just happy to fall asleep. But the real joy is as always a child's laughter that brings any bad day into a joyous occasion. And even if that has minimized I still find joy in this.

Old habits

I'm learning to let go of old habits, that made me happy and safe but I have to fix that need of going back to old habits. Sometimes you need to respect people space and the moment in their journey. Not everything can be fixed by you. Not everything is yours to fix. And sometimes you can only pray. And leave it to God.

New work

This month I'm busy with finishing a freelance project and two project's are waiting for receiving a building permit. I totally dislike this part of my career mostly because other's lack of doing their work. My new project is fun and kind of scary because it was my first time going to measure alone. I've learned the meaning of doing this by myself not asking for opinions but making them myself. God is testing me to make sure that the person I was in the beginning of 2022 will not be the person I am end of 2022. Not sure if that's good or bad thing, but I will say I'll be a little bit stronger mentally. 

Scared

I've always hated change but I've always love evolving. Only problem this time is I don't know what I will become nor do I know what my life will look like. I'm not the one holding the cards this time. And that is really scary. But somebody important said when I turn 35 something will definitely happen. I kind of found joy in that. And I will hold on to that. I will not overthink how that will happen. And I can only hope that it will be God's blessing.

Back to the basics

I have to change a couple things of RCD and not sure what the outcome will be so I'm finishing these projects and starting reinventing RCD design studio whatever that will be. That means back to the basics. Pray for RCD success and let say birth to an architectural design studio. 

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