Intentionally Layered | Day in the life RCD

 

Hello RCD readers,

​Growth is a beautiful concept, isn’t it? We chase it, we plan for it, and we measure our lives by it. But true growth isn't just about reaching milestones; it is the ability to learn how to regulate your emotions. More importantly, it’s the realization that multiple emotions can coexist at the exact same time. We don't have to force ourselves to focus exclusively on the negative or the positive. We can feel a heavy emotion, make space for it, and choose not to dwell on it.

​Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about emotional regulation. As a woman, I used to find myself constantly overthinking and feeling anxious about the unknown. I used to plan out every single second of my life—my goals, my journey, my timeline. Growth was, and still is, a massive anchor for me. Whenever I felt lost, I clung to the belief that life happens for us, not to us. Everything is beautifully woven into God’s master plan for a divine purpose.

​The Uncomfortable Mirror

​Just yesterday, I found myself in a random discussion about someone else’s growth and a massive blessing they had just received. I don’t even know this person personally. My immediate, polite response out loud was just, "Oh, wow." No further comment.

​But internally? My mind went straight to an uncomfortable inventory: What am I actually feeling right now? Is it envy? Jealousy? Disappointment?

​I had a choice in that split second. I could push the feeling down—which only makes it grow into a monster of resentment—or I could regulate it.

​Step 1: Name the Feeling

​I reached out to a trusted sister in Christ, someone I knew would understand the complexity of the human heart without judgement. Together, we tried to name it. Later, it hit me clearly. It wasn’t malice or jealousy; it was disappointment. It was the vulnerable feeling of thinking I should have gone through this specific chapter of life a long time ago.

​Step 2: Allow Coexistence

​Once I named it, I acknowledged it. I allowed myself to be okay with feeling that sting, while simultaneously regulating my emotions. I reminded myself that this fleeting disappointment could coexist perfectly with my genuine happiness and immense gratitude for the beautiful life I am currently living. One does not cancel out the other.

​Curating a Safe Circle

​I absolutely love these types of conversations. Having an open, judgement-free space to voice the "ugly" feelings we are normally ashamed of is a rare gift. And that is precisely why my inner circle is small.

​It’s not because I dislike people or lack the capacity to make friends. It’s because we are complex human beings. Not everyone will understand us, and we won’t understand everyone, and that is completely okay—so long as we lead with kindness. Because of this complexity, I choose who I need for each situation wisely and intentionally:

• ​My Sister in Christ connection for spiritual grounding.
• ​My Devil’s Advocate to keep me sharp and objective.
• ​My Biggest Supporter to lift me up.
• ​My Joy bringers and my Fellow identical life-goers.
• ​My Fellow dancers who share my rhythm and passion.

​Choosing wisely isn't mean; it is being profoundly truthful to yourself.

​What Real Growth Looks Like

​The older you get, the more you realize that real growth is the ability to recognize what your heart, your soul, and your mind need in any given situation, and acting accordingly.

​Yesterday, my soul needed closure, which is why speaking it out loud to the right person was necessary. My heart needed her kind words to remind me not to be so hard on myself. My mind needed to regulate those emotions so I wouldn't spiral into overthinking and disrupt my peace.

​A scripture that has been beautifully anchoring my heart through this journey of patience, emotional complexity, and divine timing is Ecclesiastes 3:11:

​"He has made everything beautiful in its time."

​Your timeline is not broken. Your mixed emotions do not mean you lack faith or gratitude. It just means you are alive, growing, and learning to navigate the masterpiece God is building out of your life—one regulated emotion at a time.

​What about you, RCD readers? Have you ever felt two completely conflicting emotions at once? How do you create space for them without letting them take over? Let's talk in the comments below.