Full circle| Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

Full circle moment again. A season has passed. The ice has broken. The truth of the past is clear and you've witnessed love again. A simple crush that makes your heart skip a beat. But you've grown. You've learned what you allow in your life.

The beauty about healing is that certain things can stir up a triggered feeling but you decide how you deal with it. It will not be as before. It will not be discussed nor acknowledged nor asked for forgiveness. So move on with your life. And that's what I'm relearning to do.

I saw a acquaintance write paragraphs about being misunderstood and responding angry "fuck you.. I'm not explaining myself anymore". I use to understand that. I was a big supporter. Until I met somebody who wasn't afraid to talk because they knew how to hold my words. And made me think. I just hadn't found my people back then yet.

Our words

May we be able to receive each other's words. May we be other's safe place. May we be our own safe place. May we give other's their space to be able to express themselves. May the people you spent life with be able to celebrate you, may they be able to support you, may they be able to carry you and may they love you full heartedly.

It's the last month's of 2025.

As I write down the financial payments that are coming. As I break my head about content. As I overthink my next move in my life. I receive my prayers in September. Which where so weird. Nothing changed. But what was lost has returned. Ofcourse not like you've hoped. They keep doing the same thing. But this time I'm relearning what to do. I read a book about learning who the person is in front of you and accepting them as they are. I thought it would help but gave me more resentment. But then my brother asked what did you learn from reading the book and my mindset changed. I knew that if you want change that means you have to change. I can't accept the person to magically hold my words. Or to be who I need them to be. Or to over give because I want a certain relationship with them. I need to adjust my reactions towards everything for my own boundaries.

What I've learned and trying to adapt

Accept the "real" person, not the "ideal" one; 

one of the biggest problems in relationships is the difference between the "real" and the "ideal" friend. The ideal friend is the person we wish they were. The real friend is the person they are today, with their own life, mistakes, and feelings.

They may not be able to love you the way you need them too. They may not even support you the way you need them too. But they support in their way. They extend their olive branch as they are built for.  (you don't have to judge in that you would do it better or overexplain how their hurt is why you receive that from them. But just accept it and move on with your life). Accepting is just seeing who they are and fully accepting it with no resentment, no judgment but with grace and also with your own boundaries so that you don't break yourself again.

Understand each other's reality.

Accept each other's memories of the same shared experiences.

Everyone is allowed to say what their experience was. Don't snub it off. You don't even have to try dim down your same experience. Just accept theirs is also true because it's their reality.

Work on the relationship in the present.

You have to keep working on it. The relationship now can be changed and improved.

I'm not here yet. Because the judgement and resentment is still strong. And I know with that mindset. They will smell the fakeness. And resentment will spur out by making it worst.

So as I'm trying to relearn this part of me and receive what I've always craved for but not entirely able to be kind with both. I work on it and lay it on His feet.