Day 1 | Fasting 2024

Hello RCD readers,

I've decide to write daily for the 40 days fasting. It keeps me accountable and reminds me to stay focused. So you'll read daily blog post with a scripture and my normal daily day.

Fasting

Today is the first day fasting.  I missed church because I couldn't figure out which time the services of the day were but I did pray in the morning. Which doesn't make up but it brings me peace.

I don't have a scripture for today. Mostly because I was occupied and anxious today. I wanted to go to church at night. But the church didn't have the normal parking spaces. It was entirely closed. Which meant I had to walk through a dark unoccupied street back to my car. And ofcourse it didn't feel safe. So I choose to drive back home.But the drive back home. It gave me the peace I needed and was urning for the whole day. I found clarity. To let go and give to God my anxiety over to Him.

Valentine's Day

Today I can feel the love. I love my life and I'm enjoying the simplicity of this day. God has switched the script to let me show my love instead.. You see I'm learning the power I have as the one who is loved. How soft spoken words empowers.  And a harsh tongue cuts deep. I'm learning hugs cures bad days. My kindness results to safety. And last my I love you and I miss you is what gives courage to overcome those bad days.  So as I'm learning to love myself more and take of myself.  I'm also learning what I to other's.  Especially to those who love me unconditionally. 

Chinese new year 

The year of the dragon. This year is going to be a big year for me. 

Year of the bunny 2023

Last year was evolving and changes. But most important creating the life I want to live. That included my ikigai, relationship with God, soul ties I make with people and most important letting go of what is not surfing me anymore. 

Year of the dragon 2024 

This year I'll have growth in different areas in my life. And it will mean the financial, mental and spiritual freedom that I was seeking.  Next year will be amazing. 

Last year of the dragon was 2012

I had just been through an operation and a whole year seeing doctors.  And this time it's different.  But it feels like I'm the one who is carrying the load and I'm much older. I can take better care of myself and make better medical decisions. I'm the adult going to the doctor and making decisions that involve my health. It feels like full circle and the ending is different. I know who is in control (God) and He will carry us through it. I do have that faith back. I pushed through that year and started my thesis that year. And it felt like litterly pushing a heavy rock. Which last year felt like. And the good years came after that. 

Year of the snake 2025

Next year is full circle on a different part of my life. And I feel empowered and enthusiastic for that. I'm not the same girl I was back then. I've learned from my mistakes and I know how to let Bita speak up when she needs to this time. I've gracefully ended in the stage of my life where you can't make me repeat all my mistakes. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on ME. I'm not the same woman from 2013. I want different things. I have different qualities. I think differently. I've answered all the questions of things I didn't know how I would react. And most importantly love differently. I've definitely figured out how freaking God made me. And I embrace my uniqueness from God to it's fullest. I will honor the woman He is letting me become. Including my talents.

Have a blessed Ash Wednesday 

Goodnight