Back to 1989 | Day in the life RCD

Hello RCD readers,

This RCD writer is celebrating this exciting week. This week is important to me because it's mother's day, my birthday and my nine year anniversary.  

I couldn't come up with inspiration but yesterday I came up with these concepts. 

 

 

The past , present and future.

Past

If I have to think about my past I would have to say I've learned a lot these years and going into my 33 I feel so blessed. I would love to give my perspective in certain areas in my life the lesson that I've learned. Important lessons that God made me learn.

All you need is the Lord

In my life I've had hardships which I've felt alone. But God made me learn that only He can take you out of any dip in life.

Turning 20

2009 was a hard year. The year began with me just having celebrated my grandmother's birthday and learning that January that she had cancer which she kept a secret from us. So seeing her cry from the pain was the hardest. Being the only grandchild that was able to help out because the rest were working or didn't have a driving license was also really hard for me. I remember failing every subject from my first semester because I wasn't able to learn at all because of what we as a family were going through. I lost my support of my best friend because she had mental issues. And I was alone to carry this heavy load all by myself. 

2009.. now what can I have possibly learned that year  :

- Some classmates were not all my friends. They couldn't care less what you are dealing with. Not everyone is your friend. Always use your brain and never be a follower.

- I got a crash course of adulting for the university.  I became the girl who was always ready for shit to go down and still not miss a beat in her step. Number one tip of adulting ; you are the one who needs to fix it. Not your parents. Not your friends. Not your teachers. Just you. Anyone can help but it's up to you to fix the mess that you've made for yourself

- If you treat people with respect and stay correct you'll have nothing be sorry about. And this is how I think about other's every day. I can get mad but try to stay respectful always. Because you never know if that day is the last time you'll see them.  

- I learned to keep my word and become more responsible.

Turning 24-25 and 26

Those years were important milestones for me. 

Turning 24 was an important year for me.

I met the love of my life and the man that I prayed to God for. I was so excited but cautious because I was broken with past relationship and I was going into it with hurt from dysfunctional relationships ( friendships, family relations etc). So I gave myself an important task and that was never give up. See this as a blessing that you can't throw away. 

I learned what real love is:

• I'm there when he needs a friend, confidant, lover, projector and a listener. 
• I'm his partner first and lover second. 
• I'm there when he needs peace. 
• I'm there when he needs empowering words. I'm that one supporter when around him second guess him. 
• I'm there even when people who don't jack squad about the relationship insult me about everything that we do for each other for no purpose but jealousy. 
• I'm the first who will protect him from people I can protect him from. 
• I never ask anything but his love, respect and kindness.  
• I give him time and patience to learn himself and grow as a person.
• We don't give up on each other not for more than an hour. 

Turning 25 

This was the year I pushed myself for a second surgery. I had problems that were not leaving even after the first surgery but I didn't stop I believed in myself to not stop asking for help and I just kept listening to my body. End of the day I found the doctors that kept on looking and found something that was suppose to be gone and not hurt anymore. I found out that the first surgery was not a success. Also it worsened my situation that I couldn't breath well, had pain and the swelling wasn't leaving .

The best tip for this year is;

Learn your body , listen to your body and speak up for your body. I've learned to be vocal with any and everything that feels off on me.  I've went to doctor after doctor for a couple of years to figure what was wrong with me. And if I didn't I would be healed by now. 

Turning 26

How much I love kids

This year I became an aunt again but with my siblings. It learned me how much I love kids in general. I just see my future children playing with my nieces and nephew's. And from my partners side. A little bit selfish I want them to be kind and best friends to my future kids. So I teach them kindness and make sure they have good childhood memories. 

 

God decides.  We have no control. 

I also learned something children are a blessing and only God can decide if you will get that blessing. So after a lot of people consistently telling from everywhere I will have unhealthy kids and needed produce a child before I reach 30 without actually being able to take of myself. This was frustrating also because telling my statistics that were imprinted in my brain at a young age was insulting towards me to be repeated from strangers and people who don't give a f#$@ actually about me as a person. It will be a privilege to become a mother. It will be an honor when God says this is the right moment. 

Turning 28

Found my voice. 

I was always a girl who followed the rules and try to stay correct. But at this age. I was pushed to open my mouth and fight for what I wanted in life including who I wanted to be and what life I wanted to live.  I stopped letting people tell me what my life should be. I wrote down who where the most important people and things in my life. My partner.. My family... My career.. My motherfucking peace.. My happiness...

Finding peace

I finally forgave some people in my life. I forgave my godmother for her indiscretions. I forgave my father but he is still fighting with his demons. And will not listen to find his peace. So I give him what he wants and thinks he needs the freedom to do his wrongs. I forgave my sister because I love my siblings we've been through hell and back together. I've been letting go of planning my life with my partner because it never works out. Plan that part of your life and God will laugh at you. Because what we think we need in life is not what God thinks we need at that moment of our life. And I've found peace in that. Let him decide and lead the way.

2022 turning 33

Relationships are give and take 

It's a give and take. You can't do everything for other's consistently.  You have to choose yourself sometimes. And every time I choose me I've had more inspiration, more work done, been more happy, more full of life to give to people I love. By not always giving in to relationship to make it right and sometimes choosing yourself and your well-being is important.  I no longer try to feel sad if somebody their choices have a bad outcome in situations that involve me too. Because they are responsible for their outcomes of each choice they made in life. It may involve me but it's not my job to make it right anymore. My job is to forgive if they've wronged me and keep my happiness plus self care where it needs to be. 

Becoming financially stable.

This is something I've been working on since 2014. People think I'm looking for money but I'm looking for stability to care of the people I love in my life and my future that includes my partner and our future children. 

My tips on financially stable.

- figure what your yearly, monthly and weekly costs are in life make sure that is covered every month. 

- save up 60% of your income 

For insurance, taxes, depreciation expenses and saving up for personal and work.

- spent only 20% of your money for yourself 

- always have a 3 month income saved up for times like the fun Covid pandemic experience with no income.

Celebrate each year and each victory 

I didn't learn this in 2022 but it is something that young people learn. It's the journey we strive for the end results. Enjoy the journey.  Learn from each failure.  Laugh at each misstep. Celebrate your victories before you regret that you haven't done that. Celebrate each year stop feeling like I'm getting old and start enjoying that God gave you another blessing by giving you another year.

Happiness is your responsibility 

Your mental health is one thing that only you can control. Your joy is stolen by a certain situation, friendship or relationship. Remove yourself from that. If it doesn't give you joy it doesn't need to be in your life. If you get anxiety like I do but certain task. Find your way to release that. It can be therapy. It can be talking to a friend. It can fitness. It can be music. You have to work on what it is and work on that.  I choose to be happy each day. And is something I have to work at each day. Some day harder than other's but I look for what i need and make it work.

So that ends this blog post.  I hope you've learned from me in some way. Please give me your life lesson that you've learner from your past.