Trust the hand that holds the clock
Hello RCD readers,
As the week has come to an end, a lot has happened—and a lot has not. This month began with a bunch of corrections from my last project currently in the building permit phase. I received a call, but unfortunately, I was not near my phone. I have no idea who actually called or what the issue was. I sent a message to the building department, but so far, there has been no response. We'll see if I decide to drop by today or just wait it out.
From Anxiety to Calming Peace
As I sit here writing this, I realize I forgot my rosary today. Yet, I still feel His calming peace washing over me. It feels like an answered prayer from years ago. My old default setting used to be stress. To be anxious. To overthink everything. I used to believe that everything had to happen right away for it to be called a success. We often think growth should be a skyrocketing, linear arrow 🏹—but it simply isn't.
I am currently standing in the hallway again. Four years ago, this exact place was terrifying. When everything was still and quiet, it felt like I was failing. It felt like I had made a massive mistake betting on myself. But I did it anyway.
"Back then, I didn't have the luxury of connections at the building department, and new freelance work wasn't exactly knocking down my door. Everyone around me seemed to be thriving in their own way—some were starting their master’s degrees, some were supervising massive projects, others were starting families or getting married. And there I was: a freelancer, scared shitless to turn my passion into a real business with no business plan, no capital, and only a bit of personal savings. But I still bet on myself. I just took it one step at a time."
Choosing the Path of Integrity
Now, I carry more responsibilities. In this economy, we all do. End-of-the-month bills need to be paid, and as an adult, I'm the one paying them. When the phone stops ringing, the normal human response is to let fear and overthinking creep back in.
But why am I here? Because I chose to do things God's way. And doing it His way means operating with absolute integrity.
Over the past few weeks, a couple of potential opportunities came my way, but they were clearly not from Him. I had to make a choice. When you pray for the growth, protection, and blessing of your business, you have to accept a "no" as His divine protection. It means that when an opportunity falls outside your moral and ethical standards, you have to be brave enough to say no. If you pray for God to remove what isn't from Him, you have to let it go when He does. Business growth might not always be linear, but your personal and spiritual growth certainly will be.
Grace in the Waiting
While things have been incredibly quiet on the client front this week, my friends’ first response is naturally, "It will be fine... you’ll get new clients soon." But instead of panicking, I am genuinely enjoying the deep calmness God built in me during my past struggles. I don't panic these days because I know exactly who is carrying me. My security doesn't come from my own success or worldly validation, but from God's grace in my life.
So, as I wait here in the hallway, I want to share this beautiful text I came across that perfectly captures this season:
"God, I'm tired of standing in this hallway. I've reached the point where my soon feels like forever. I don't know if I'm waiting for a door to open, or if I'm waiting for my heart to change. I don't know if this silence is your answer, or if it's just my test. I don't know if I'm being protected from what I want, or prepared for what I actually need.
All I know is that the middle feels heavy. If I am rushing, slow me down. If I am doubting, hold me steady. If I am trying to build what only you can grow, take the tools out of my hands.
Teach me how to be still without being anxious. Teach me how to trust the seeds I can't see yet. Teach me that your delay is not your absence. I don't want to force a season that isn't ready. I don't want to miss what you're doing here, just because I'm looking over there.
You see the finish line. I only see the wait. But I trust the hand that holds the clock. I am safe in the middle. That is my prayer."
A Word of Encouragement
Are you standing in a hallway of your own right now? Are you being tested to maintain your integrity even when the silence feels heavy? Trust that the delay is not His absence. He is simply preparing you for the doors He is about to open.
Scripture for the week:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."— Philippians 4:6-7
Comments
Post a Comment